Down with "success-speak"

Much of the coaching I do involves helping people to learn skills and techniques to help them improve as public speakers but sometimes it happens that unlearning things shows itself to be more of a challenge than learning them. Let me explain.

There are a vast array of products and services available to people who wish to improve their public speaking ability and many of them are very good - I offer a heartfelt thanks to all those people who provide them. Much of what is available, however, is limited, misguided or flat-out bad. The main complaint I have to lodge is that these products and services create a style of presentation that while, efficient and practical, is ultimately empty and inhuman; a kind of "success-speak". This style of speaking lies somewhere between a radio dj and the stereotype of a used-car salesperson. These people know how to engage a crowd, how to put their points across and are frequently successful in business as a result. The question you might well ask is, "if it works, why do you have a problem with it?"

Alright, let's cut right to the chase. I do not coach people to help them earn more money, I coach them to give them a better understanding of what factors define the way they put together ideas and express them and then help them to take control of those factors and become better communicators. If they choose to use this power of expression to earn more money, which they certainly can, that's fine, if not, that's fine too. There are many other avenues they could explore relating to their creative aspirations and personal life as well. In fact, it may just be that by becoming a better communicator you will finally have the ability to express the fact that you truly hate the life that you live with your high paying job.

Going back to my original point of "unlearning"; I find it is often far more difficult to get people to drop the robotic "success-speak" habits than to teach them new information. A good rule to remember for most situations is to make sure that your speaking style is not that different from the way you would speak privately to good friends, not in content, but in tone and sincerity. We have enough technology to master in our lives without turning ourselves into robots so down with "success-speak" and up with the expressive person you really are.

www.laughlearnlead.com

http://twitter.com/chrismolineux

Too casual or not too casual?

One of the greatest gifts that a speaker can possess is to be themselves; to speak in their own voice without being burdened by a constructed or artificial style. For some people this comes naturally, for others it takes time to define and learn to control the factors that define how the construct and deliver a speech. One interesting problem that I sometimes see is people who are comfortable and relaxed when they speak but so much so, it has actually created problems for them. What I’d like to do is briefly examine some of the advantages and disadvantages of using a casual style when public speaking.

THE ADVANTAGES:

The advantages of a casual style of speaking are fairly well documented and many people spend a great deal of time trying to perfect this approach.

A casual style:

1 - shows that you are comfortable and relaxed and puts your audience at ease.

2 - allows you to communicate in a genuine manner

3 - can help to diffuse tension and/or discontent in your audience

4 - means that the crowd feels as though they are listening to a real person and not just a factoid pitchperson

THE DISADVANTAGES:

The disadvantages vary from person to person depending on how they demonstrate a “casual” style but here are just a few possible pitfalls.

A casual style:

1 - can often be delivered in a manner of speech that’s slightly faster and looser – and therefore content and emphasis can be lost.

2 - often ignores important devices that can be used to make your point – (eg: repetition, lists etc.)

3 - can cause you to lose your sense of authority. While you seldom want to push a crowd around, you do want to put across that you are an authority on your subject.

4 - can lead people to misinterpret your opinions or emotions. Sometimes people will see a casual attitude as one belonging to someone who does not really care about their topic.

In the end it is important to remember that while your audience does want to see “the real you” they also want to hear a well delivered speech so there is far more too it than just settling in and getting comfortable. Getting the full benefit from a more casual approach can only be achieved if you are meeting the broader objectives of your presentation so bear them in mind and try to maintain the best balance possible.

Thanks – let me know if you have any questions and …. stay loose,

Christopher

n.b. – my new speaker coaching website is now up at: http://www.laughlearnlead.com/

http://twitter.com/chrismolineux

End your fear of public speaking - part 3 - memory

Memorizing your material is one of those obstacles that simply cannot be avoided without actually reading it directly from the page or screen but there are ways of making the process a little easier. How easy or difficult a speech is to remember often has a great deal to do with the methods that have been used to put it together. As was mentioned in the previous blog "End your fear of public speaking - Part 2 – “Tricks”"

http://psworkbench.blogspot.com/2009/05/end-your-fear-of-public-speaking-part-2.html

determining and using the connections to the material that you have and the style that fits you best will help you to recall things more easily. In particular the use of the experiential is a tool of memory - telling stories and relating characters. People who have greater difficulty with memory-work are well advised to lean on this style of speaking because it involves recollection rather than remembering. You are not learning something new, you are merely relating something that you aleady know and have simply put into a specific context to make the points you need to make. I have done quite a bit of work with people with different cognitive impairments including ADHD (ADD) who have struggled with memory work, especially in a logical framework, but can tell stories with great ease.

Aside from this stylistic angle there are some specific tactics that you can employ that can be very helpful:

1 - Audio recordings   

                                    Recording yourself practicing a speech and then listening to the recording is also an effective aid to memory. The recording is remembered in a completely different way than the written words and this will also give a sense of which words and phrases are most effective, how your voice sounds, and if your points are being made clearly. Digital audio recorders are readily available, small, cheap and easy to use, take advantage of them. Once you have the recorder you can then use it to record the speeches that you make which is useful to continue to improve the speech and sharpen your skills in general.

2: Conversation 

                             You can also take parts of your speech out for a walk before you actually deliver the speech, meaning, try to weave some of it into some kind of conversation. I realize that this isn't always possible if you deal with highly technical subjects and such, but often it is possible and you should try it. It helps to get you more comfortable speaking on the subject, delivering specific lines/ideas and also gives you some insight into how they might be received. This will help to give your speech a more natural and less "written" style and there is also the additional benefit of hearing other peoples opinions of the topic -  you may even get some new phrases or ideas from them.

3: Reference card    

                              Having a full copy of your speech is a good idea for most people but trying to actually remember it word for word can be torture. It's a good idea to become really familiar with the speech as a whole and then get a cue card and write down a list of the main points in the correct order. If you can memorize that list then even if you lose your way and forget a sentence or two you will never actually be lost, and it's not that hard to remember a list of a dozen or so words. If you want you can write the "bow tie" that was discussed in the previous blog down on a second card. These two cards have all the most important information - you can carry them in your back pocket and refresh your memory at any time.

I hope you find these tips helpful - please let me know if you have any questions and, while we are on the subject of memory, please don't forget that I am always happy to shop up and do keynotes/workshops for your event and I can do coaching for anyone,anywhere by reviewing your video footage and script(s)

                                                     www.laughlearnlead.com

                                               http://twitter.com/chrismolineux

End your fear of public speaking - Part 2 – “Tricks”

   In the last blog I covered some of the things to consider before you even start writing your speech – things that will help you to determine how to write a speech that will really suit your own style and personality and…..be easy to remember. One thing that was covered was the fact that it is important to define the points that you need to make - I’d now like to move on to a few simple tricks that you can use when you are actually writing a speech that will help make those points clearer, stronger and yes…. easier to remember. The idea is to make a speech that you really connect with so you have greater confidence in it, can deliver it with conviction and can retain and relate it with ease.

 

 It is interesting to note that I use the term “easy to remember”. There is single word that can be used instead of a phrase: memorable, but memorable seems to have a different connotation that “easy to remember”. Memorable seems to refer to the point of view of the listener while easy to remember refers to the person delivering the speech. There is a value to be gained from the association between the two. While a speech that is easy to remember may not necessarily be memorable, a memorable speech is usually easy to remember and if you design your speech to be memorable you’ll have an easier time remembering it. It’s a win in two directions.

 

Trick #1 – Points and Themes

                                                     While this may sound like basic structure rather than a trick but the trick lies in not in the use but the emphasis - pay real attention to the points and themes in your speech and then push them when you are actually delivering the speech. At all times your audience is asking, consciously or sub-consciously “what’s your point?”  So make sure you always let them know what your point is. If you are giving out a long list of facts, or telling a long story, tell them why. A theme is basically a substructure that can contain one or many points. Some types of themes include:

 

a)      Analogies –  great for providing clarity and a fresh perspective

b)      Stories – good for engaging crowds and giving context

c)      Referring to characters – not for everybody, but this can be very effective

d)      Catch-phrases  - a perennial favourite for good reason

e)      Summarized ideas – e.g.: things run in cycles

 

 

Trick #2 Repetition

                                  At first it might seem like repetition is something you should avoid in a speech. You don’t want to sound like you are just repeating yourself over and over, or appear as though you forgot that you just said the same thing a moment ago. Repetition, when it’s used deliberately can be very useful. Think of some of the most famous speeches in history, most of them relied heavily on repetition.

 

“ We will fight them on the beaches, we will fight them with growing strength and growing confidence in the air, we will fight them in the fields and in the hills ……”

 

Identify some of the places in your speech that really deserve emphasis and then determine which word or phrase to repeat. Sometimes you can go one step further with this and use trick #3.

                                 

 

Trick #3  Catch-phrases and monikers

                                                                   Aside from providing structure for themes catch phrases are great things to use in general. They stick in peoples minds, lend themselves to repetition and can also provide a pinch of humour every now and then. You don’t have to be any great wordsmith to come up with a catch phrase, don’t be afraid to use something that’s well known, (use it or lose it, let sleeping dogs lie etc.) the cliché is permissible when used as a catch phrase to put a point across and if you have followed the advice in the previous blog you will have a genuine connection with your material which is the most important thing. Having said that, if you can create something really original, even better… go for it. A moniker similar to a catch phrase but is a substitute name for something. You might not use the word moniker but you use monikers – “the head honcho” is a moniker. A good moniker can be memorable and also sum up the essence of something

 

Trick #4 – The Bow-tie

                                        The bow-tie refers to the summary that occurs at the end of a speech that brings together all the main points that you want to leave your audience with. It should be more than just a summary though. Really pay attention and put some extra effort into crafting this section because it will serve not only as a reminder to your audience of all your main points but also as a reminder to you. When you are practising your speech make specific reference to really remembering this section because if you have that solidly in your mind you can always refer to it and it will connect you with all the most important parts of your speech. A good bow-tie is also advisable because it gives some polish to a speech and can make you look like a real pro – at the crucial point, right at the end.

 

These are just a few ideas to take note of. They may just sound like common sense but pay attention to them and they will pay real dividends providing you with a presentation that is both memorable and….. easy to remember.

                www.laughlearnlead.com

                                http://twitter.com/chrismolineux 

The imaginary fear of public speaking

The word that is most synonymous with public speaking is fear - an odd word for an activity that so rarely causes death or bloodshed. Why is there so much terror involved? What is it that brings on the pounding heart, sweaty palms, bodily shaking, and the trademark trembling voice? Here are three of the most common reasons that people cite as contributing to their fear of speaking in public.

 

 

Eye Contact

 

Eye contact is a powerful thing. If someone walks by you on the street and locks eyes until they completely pass you by that’s a hostile act …… unless it’s accompanied by a smile. The smile has the power to change the context. Similarly many speakers and entertainment turn the power of eye contact into a truly positive thing.  So the message is that eye contact has impact, but it can be made positive rather than negative.

 

Shyness

 

Some people have a shy side and speaking in public brings that side out. The truth of the matter is that it is not the act of speaking that brings out the shyness, it is the person who makes the decision to be shy. Shyness is a learned condition just as the word “ow” is a learned word. It can be held at a deep and unconscious level but it is learned and it can be unlearned as long as the person is willing to do some unlearning.

 

Saying the wrong thing

 

No-one wants to say the wrong thing and that driving desire to stay on track can cause many presenters to fumble, stumble and crumble. We take this to be normal and reasonable. What is interesting that when you are talking to someone at dinner or a social event you also want to avoid saying the wrong thing but people don’t usually disintegrate at dinner parties. Wanting to avoid saying the wrong thing is not a fundamental pressure that is a constant element of public speaking it is simply something that we choose to create in the situation.

 

There are many other aspects connected to fear and public speaking that I cannot cover in the space of a blog but the over-riding question is: are any of these fears legitimate and/or insurmountable? The simple answer is that while fear is too complex a human emotion to be dealt any definitive pronouncements, the fear of speaking in public is no more legitimate than the fear of driving a car. As long as they are willing, people can be cured of the fear of public speaking, and it can often be done quickly and easily. How this is done depends on the individual and a wide variety of details, but in most circumstances demystifying the subject and applying simple techniques can take people past this curious fear and to a point where speaking in public is easily done and (shock!) enjoyable. 

                                                 www.laughlearnlead.com

                                  http://twitter.com/chrismolineux

Backyard Workshop

Hello all,

                  I will have more posts coming up shortly - many thanks for you support and comments. 

For those of you in the Vancouver area:

 I have a workshop coming up at U.B.C. on Sunday, April 19th. I do these local workshops twice a year and refer to them as my "Backyard Workshops" and they are offered at a substantial discount. The total class size is limited to 10 so if you are interested please let me know as soon as possible. Details are below.

For those of you not from the Vancouver area:

Love to come to your area to do a workshop for your group or company - give me a call at 604-628-3466.

All fine things

                            Christopher

                             PUBLIC SPEAKING WORKSHOP  SUNDAY, APRIL 19TH

 A full-day workshop that provides a complete examination of your own personal style of public speaking. Small class size (max. 10) provides one-on-one coaching that will show you the specific factors that define you as a speaker and explain how to take control of them and make the most of your skills.

 

·       How to overcome fear and/or shyness

·       How to write a speech that suits your character

·       How to find your “voice” and take control of it

·       How to use humour naturally and effectively

CHRIS MOLINEUX HAS BEEN WORKING AS A PROFESSIONAL COMEDIAN SINCE 1986 AND PERFORMED AT “JUST FOR LAUGHS”.  HE HAS WORKED AS A PUBLIC-SPEAKING COACH SINCE 2000 AND HIS CLIENTS INCLUDE:

 LG * TOASTMASTERS * TD CANADA TRUST * SME * SKYWORKS * BUSINESS AND PROFESSIONAL WOMENS NETWORK * AND MANY MORE

SUNDAY, APRIL 19^TH  -  11 A.M. – 5 P.M.

COST: $80     LOCATION: U.B.C.

                          FOR DETAILS AND REGISTRATION:TEL:  604-628-3466

E-MAIL: INFO@LAUGHLEARNLEAD.COM

What are you talking about?

So..... you have managed to get to the point where you can speak clearly and confidently in front of your crowds, engage, amuse and inform them and leave them wanting more. Yet somehow, in the rush of all this success, you have managed to fail: fail to see the point.

 

A great presentation is about more than the just the presentation itself, it is about its effect on the audience after the fact and it is possible as a speaker to be clear concise, elegant, efficient and ….. ineffective.  The trick is to determine exactly what the purpose of your speech is. Is there one many point? Are there many points? And if there are many is there a good way to tie them all together and make them more memorable? When putting your presentation together define and isolate these points and ensure that they are going to come through as effectively as possible. It is often a good idea to write in the margins what your specific point is in that section of the speech. It is easy to get carried away with details on a subject and obscure the reason for bringing the subject up in the first place. Make sure that when you cover a subject you reach a conclusion with it and most importantly, define the appropriate response or strategy.

 

  Subject     >>      Conclusion     >>     Strategy

 

  There are different ways of organize these three elements. People often like to leave the conclusion and/or strategy until the end of a presentation which can work well as it leaves that as the final thought for the audience. It is also possible to place conclusions and strategies throughout a presentation which can give them more opportunities to sink in and they then can be associated with specific points. Another option is to begin your speech or title it using a conclusion or strategy and then explain it as you go along. 

Just remember that at all times, consciously or unconsciously, your audience is asking “what’s your point”, so give the people what they want.

www.laughlearnlead.com

http://twitter.com/chrismolineux

Why you can’t find your voice as a public speaker

One of the greatest struggles faced by people in the field of public speaking is what many call “finding your voice”. Some people, after years of seeming success complain that they can get the job done but still haven’t found their voice. The reason this voice is so difficult to find is that it doesn’t exist, or rather, there is no one voice, there are many. To get to the level of comfort where you can speak effectively in a style that is distinctly your own, you don’t need to figure out a hook - you need to hear voices.

 

 Fortunately this specific instance of hearing voices involves neither spiritual communion nor psychological fragmentation just a simple recognition of certain things that you already know. Each person is made up of many voices, many moods, and many methods of communication. We have one way we speak to our children when we tell them to go to bed, another voice when we are trying to talk our way out of a speeding ticket and yet another when we are trying to scare away a bear who has arrived at our campsite. These voices all are part of who you are. You don’t have to transform into another person to frighten a bear, you just to bring out one of your many voices.

 

  If we have such specific voices for all these situations, why is there not one for public speaking? The answer is that public speaking involves far more than just a single situation or mood. It involves many different audiences, in different settings, under differing circumstances and no one voice can effectively deal with all of them. There are many moods that have to be entered into, many situations to be considered. Sometimes, the best possible approach could be a forceful one and at another time a softer, more self-effacing manner will bring your audience onside. This need for multiplicity does not mean you should “just be yourself” or learn tricks to manipulate a crowd. What it means is that you should observe and identify your own characteristics, moods, and manners when speaking and then learn how to use and adapt them to achieve the most positive results in varying situations.

 

  Learning to understand who you are as a character is an interesting and rewarding exercise that I will discuss in upcoming postings. I would also love to hear any insights you have regarding finding your voice:

 

 * how you achieved it

 * why you think you never will

 * anything you think people should or shouldn’t do to help the process

 

All fine things ……. Christopher

 

 

www.laughlearnlead.com